Well, today’s my birthday. The event has sometimes left me contemplating the unavoidable passage of time, and taking a moment to reflect on what’s important in my life, what has happened in the past year, how my life has changed, remained the same, and what I’m looking forward to or hoping will happen in the year to come. This year, I don’t feel like a whole lot of that is happening. I’m too busy to bother with it. Seeing as this particular birthday comes just a couple of weeks after the New York move, and also considering that I haven’t found employment yet and I’m neck deep in the job hunt, all of that “where am I now in terms of my life and goals” stuff has kind of taken a back seat, because I needn’t really think about it all; I’m already well aware of it. When you’re living in a city this expensive and you don’t have steady work, you don’t really get the spare time to wax philosophical. You know what your priority is: survival. And that’s what my mind is geared toward.
Also, it’s not like this is a particularly significant birthday, either. Eighteen felt big, and twenty-one, obviously. Twenty-five felt like a number of some significance, because it was halfway to thirty. But let’s be honest, there isn’t a whole lot of difference between twenty-seven and twenty-eight; it’s not like any new privileges have been bestowed upon me, and in fact, there aren’t going to be any from here on out, until I hit fifty-five and I’m eligible for the early bird special at Denny’s, Perkin’s, and Eat and Park, depending on what part of the country I’m in. I can’t wait. Only twenty-seven more years to go. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just try to enjoy the sliding slope to thirty. Maybe when I get there in a couple of years it’ll feel significant. Or maybe…maybe birthdays just don’t really feel significant anymore. Maybe that’s a thing of the past. Maybe any excitement that I feel is actually more like a form of nostalgia for the excitement I used to have. Probably better not to get too bogged down in it. Even if the event isn’t quite what it used to be, or different, at any rate, I find that I’m able to use it for a good cause anyway: to count my blessings, and there are a lot, even if I don’t always choose to acknowledge them, and even if I gripe about the problems that at times seem to hem me in and mar my progress. I still have my friends, family, and my creativity, and I feel like that’s all I need. With all that taken into consideration, I feel like this is a happy birthday, even if I don’t have the resources to make it a particularly extravagant one. I’m still in my dream city, and I feel like that’s a big accomplishment in and of itself. So check back with me next year at this time. Twenty-nine may not be any more significant than twenty-eight, in the grand scheme of things, but I still feel like I’ll have more accomplished then, speaking in terms of my long term goals. If I was a betting man, I’d put money on it. Also, I just wanted to take the opportunity to wish a happy birthday to my other Cancerian friends. There’s several of you, my fellow crabs. You know who you are.