Well, there’s plenty of important matters I could be talking about in this week’s post. I could talk about the devastation in Japan following the earthquake and tsunami. I could talk about the turmoil in the Middle East. I could talk about how Obama will be in for the fight of his political life, vying for reelection next year. But instead I think I’ll talk about the most important thing on God’s green Earth: professional wrestling! That’s right, it’s the biggest event of the year for wrestling again. For the twenty-seventh time, Wrestlemania will take place, this time from the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. But this time something will happen that has only taken place once before in history: I will be there in person to see it all unfold live! Yes, the event is too big, the card is too massive, and I just had to be there for myself to see it. I’ll be attending Wrestlemania on Sunday and Monday night Raw from the Philips Arena in Atlanta the night after. A monumental event, and with that in mind, here are my predictions for the Superbowl of wrestling, the biggest event of the year.
Daniel Bryan vs Seamus (c) for the United States Championship: Daniel Bryon has been given a nice push for the past few months, but they have big plans for Seamus as far as the future goes. He’s already a two-time world champion early on in his career, and even though he’s relegated to the mid-card again for the moment, he’ll be back in the main event before too long. The same, unfortunately, can’t be said for Daniel Bryan. Winner: Seamus.
The Corre vs Big Show/Kane/Santino/Vladimir Kozlov: there’s nothing on the line other than bragging rights in this one. Since the Corre hold both the Intercontinental Championship and the Tag Team titles, neither of those will be contested, which is a shame. It seems like the I.C. title, in particular, is very rarely defended at ‘Mania anymore. I think they’ll give it to the Corre in this one, but I could see it going either way. Winners: The Corre.
Snooki/John Morrison/Trish Stratus vs Lay Cool/Dolph Ziggler: can’t say I’m looking forward to this bullshit, but they wanted the publicity of getting a Jersey Shore member involved, so it was inevitable. Nice to see Trish back, at least. Celebrities from other sports and walks of life who get involved with Wrestlemania always win. Always. Every time. See, for instance: Butterbean at WM 15, Lawrence Taylor at WM 12, Akebono at WM 21, and Floyd Mayweather at WM 24. The winners here are: Snooki/Morrison/Trish.
C.M. Punk vs Randy Orton: again, no title on the line here, just bragging rights, between two former multiple time world champions. Expect a good match, but I have a feeling they’ll give the nod to Orton in this one. Again, I could see it going either way. Winner: Randy Orton.
Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes: and how bad must it suck being Ted Dibiase, the former Legacy member, where Cody Rhodes is here being given a high-profile singles match, while you’re not even on the card?! Ouch. Another tough pick here. I just don’t see them having enough confidence yet in Rhodes for them to give him the victory in this one. Mysterio will allow him to showcase his talents; Rhodes will take most of the offense, but in the end the winner will be: Rey Mysterio.
Jerry Lawler vs Michael Cole w/Jack Swagger Special Guest Referee Stone Cold Steve Austin: nice to see Austin back. Interesting that after being so despised for so many years, Vince decided to just go ahead and turn Michael Cole heel. The fans have wanted to see him get his ass kicked for thirteen years, and it will finally happen here. He’ll also get the Stone Cold Stunner. Winner: Jerry Lawler.
HHH vs Undertaker: this is what I’m flying to Atlanta for. Even though it should be a great match, career defining for both men, and even though Shawn Michaels will undoubtedly get involved, the outcome is never in doubt. The streak will never be broken. Winner: Undertaker.
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs Edge (c): Del Rio figures prominently into the main event picture in the WWE for some time to come. I was at WM 21 to see John Cena and Batista win their first world titles, and I’ll see Del Rio win it here, probably his first of many. Winner: Alberto Del Rio.
WWE Championship: John Cena vs The Miz (c): the Rock will certainly get involved, but exactly how remains to be seen. The Miz has made leaps and bounds in his career in the past year. I’ll be the first to admit I never thought he’d achieve anything close to what he has. This is his chance to really impress, but unfortunately, I feel he must do so in defeat. I’d love to see Cena lose, but I don’t think it’s in the cards. Vince is just too in love with the guy. With a heavy heart, I must say, winner: John Cena.
And that’ll do it! I realize I picked mostly babyfaces to win, so a couple of my picks might be in jeopardy, but this is the way I see it all shaking out. Feel differently? Feel free to comment on it and put your picks up against mine. See you in Atlanta, suckers!